Mental Health and Wellbeing News

Dear Parents/Carers,

Following on from our newsletter and the Positive Peer Relationships news, we will have a look at what empathy is and how important a skill it is to develop in children to assist them build positive relationships.

You may have heard the saying, “Before you criticise or judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes.” This quote is all about empathy. Empathy is the ability to be aware of the feelings of others and imagine what it might be like to be in their position (or in their shoes).

Empathy is a key ingredient in positive friendships and relationships. It reduces conflict and misunderstandings and leads to helping behaviour, kindness, and even greater success in life in general.

Like any skill, empathy can be taught and developed in children. Here are some general strategies to help teach your children empathy:

Model empathy.

Any time you want to teach a skill to a child, it’s important to model it yourself. This way, the child understands what empathy looks like, sounds like, and feels like. Plus, it’s easier to teach a skill that you’ve already mastered yourself.

Remember to model empathy even when you’re upset with or giving consequences to your child. This reinforces the idea that empathy can and should be used even when you’re feeling disappointed, hurt, or angry. The more children receive empathy, the more likely they are to offer it to others.

Discuss emotions.

Talk openly about emotions rather than dismissing or burying them. Let’s say your child is scared of the dark. Instead of saying, “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” explore the child’s feelings: “Are you scared of the dark? What scares you about the dark?”

If your child doesn’t like another child, don’t immediately say, “That’s wrong,” but ask why the child feels that way. This can lead to a discussion about the other child’s actions and why the child might be acting that way (e.g., They just moved to a new school and are feeling angry because they miss their old school and their friends).

Never punish a child for feeling sad or angry. Make it clear that all emotions are welcome, and learn to manage them in a healthy way through discussion and reflection.

Help out at home, in the community, or globally.

Helping others develop kindness and caring. It can also give children the opportunity to interact with people of diverse backgrounds, ages, and circumstances, making it easier to show empathy for all people.

Praise empathetic behaviour.

When your child shows empathy for others, praise the behaviour. Focusing on and encouraging empathetic behaviour encourages more of it in the future.

Make the praise specific: “You brought your sister a Band-Aid for her scraped knee so she could feel better. That was so kind and helpful!”

We incorporate the above strategies in our everyday teaching and in the activities we do at school, such as Crazy Sock Day. These activities let our students know that there are many people in the world who do not have the things we have, such as fresh water and adequate shelter. They teach empathy and gratitude for what we do have and let our students know that we can help make other people’s lives better.

If you would like some age-specific strategies for teaching your children empathy, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Deb Owens

Mental Health and Wellbeing Leader